Inestimable words I think of — and pathetically try to act on — daily. Unfortunately, I fail miserably.
Being pregnant has left my house upside down. Nothing has changed, besides this beautiful parasite I have in my tummy, but everything is different. I’ve become quite an * awful * mother — and I’m being generous with my words here people — yet my children have strangely provided stability.
The same unconditional love they offer to me. The same smiles that make my heart smile. The same cacophony of bickering throughout the day. The same hungry minds wanting mommy to read to them.
These little souls have managed to provide stability, along with vivid illustrations of mercy, during this tumultuous time. Imagine that. They are teaching me how to be merciful. AMAZING and excruciatingly embarrassing upon reflecting on my behavior.
I sit here writing and weeping, subjecting myself to a much needed examination of self and my reflections are quite horrendous! It is shameful to admit that being merciful to those I am closest too and love the most, is the hardest thing to do.
How can I be so unmerciful to my own children? How can I portray such a lack of love to these innocent ones? How can I constantly fail at flooding their daily lives with love and mercy?
No matter how many times I scowl at them, they love me. No matter how many hours I lay on the couch dictating duties, they love me. No matter how many times I bellow like an unruly animal, they love me. They give me exactly what I do not deserve—mercy and love.
Being a mommy is the hardest, yet, most rewarding job I know. My husband and I have been gifted these treasured souls until they are called home to their Heavenly Father. I must demonstrate the love of Christ so that they too, may imitate what they have seen, heard, and lived. How else can we truly show love and mercy unless we are living in Love and Mercy, Himself.